Galloping Geezers
On the eighth day God said, “Let’s go wheeling!” And, to the fulfillment of that end, He created Moab: a land of redrock, slickrock, talus rock...
What goes down, must come up...
We took a break from our “thrill a minute” lifestyle and 110 degree heat and made a quick Jeep run to Phoenix to have some new goodies installed. Three days and $1500 later we returned “home” with a new roll cage, differential guards and a Toys by Troy Alumaflex tie rod (I know this tech talk is just exciting the Hell out of you ladies!) We did manage to swing by the Grand Canyon enroute back to the desert but the fires were burning so heavily in the area that it was pretty difficult to even see it through all the smoke and haze. A first for us in nearly 7 years of living on the road, we suffered a bit of vandalism to our Jeep one Friday afternoon when we stopped by a local restaurant for lunch after a day on the trails. The restaurant we visited shares a parking lot with another called the Mondo Espresso Café (mondo: Aboriginal word meaning “large hairless rodent”)...
There are those times when my bride decides that discretion is the better part of valor and opts to play photojournalist while I navigate some of the “tippier” spots alone. I just don’t know how she manages to take pictures with her eyes closed. We usually meet up with other like-minded people during our stays in Moab and this trip has certainly proven to be no different. We hooked up with a couple of groups of people who like 4-wheeling as much, if not more than we do, and were more than willing to guide us around a lot of the back country...
Notice the heavyweight they have anchoring the towline. With names like Poison Spider Mesa, Metal Masher, Steel Bender and Hell’s Revenge, the Jeep trails in this area truly do represent the epitome of low speed thrill rides...
Terrible Tom usually led the group in his Rubicon while the rest of us trailed along behind like a flock of ducklings waiting for him to announce over the CB that it was “time to go 4 wheeling.” With that we would leave the road and head off in some direction where the rocks and sagebrush got progressively larger and my navigator would dig progressively deeper handholds in our grab bar, roll bar or whichever of my appendages was most opportune. Tom and his bride took off on a weeklong Alaskan cruise with another couple from our group and I volunteered myself to look after his Jeep during their absence . . .
overlooking a first class fireworks display...
When we returned to our Jeep after lunch we discovered a coffee cup full of maple syrup had been overturned on our front seat. At about that same time we noticed a young girl watching us who was holding an identical cup in her hand. We followed her into the Mondo Café and discovered that she is an employee and that waffles are one of their specialties . . . (they sell waffles, waffles need maple syrup . . . coincidence??!!) She took the cup and quickly vanished behind the counter before we were able to discover if it contained coffee or more syrup. The attitudes of the 2 employees we confronted left little doubt that they knew what had happened and were most likely responsible. I wrote a letter regarding the incident to the Moab Times and discovered through e-mail responses that this coffee shop is known locally as a hangout for the local libs to play on their computers, drink coffee and discuss politics. We also received an e-mail from a witness confirming our suspicions about what had transpired. We were able to clean up the mess easily enough with some hot water and a towel and we notified the café owner of the extra-curricular activities of at least one of his employees. We received no response. I am just not able to figure if it was the American flag or the 9/11 slogan on our spare tire cover that incited these left-wing liberal loons to commit such a stupid act of vandalism...
Or perhaps it was simply the Texas license plate. We’ll be coming to you next month from South Fork, Colorado. Hugs, Chuck & Kalyn
and more rock with crevasses, canyons, ledges, fins and domes to crawl over, plow through or navigate around. He even placed a few holes in the middle of some trails just for added excitement...
Fortunately for Tom, the market for used Jeeps in Moab proved to be nearly nonexistent, save for one offer from a local poultry farmer who offered to trade 3,000 head of chickens even up. I just couldn’t think of any practical use for that many chicken heads, or come to think of it, even for one. We celebrated the 4th of July in true Jeeper fashion with a BBQ on one of the slickrock fins on the Hell’s Revenge Trail...
The Eighth Day July 25, 2006